Choosing When to Choose

I would first like to thank all of you who have provided me with feedback regarding my first few issues of The Coaching Chronicles. It is really exciting (and humbling) to hear that the information I am providing is helpful to so many of you. I continue to welcome your feedback, and if there are any particular issues you would like me to address, please let me know.

The week I am sharing some insights from a rather fascinating book I read last year called The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less by Barry Swartz.

Most people think that having more options to choose from is a good thing. If I consider more options, then I’m more likely to choose the best thing, right? It’s possible, but have you ever thought about the costs associated with that choice? First, there’s the question of your time (how much time did you spend making the decision?), and then there’s the question of your happiness (how happy are you with the decision that you made?).

In The Paradox of Choice, Barry Swartz points to several studies that indicate that people are actually unhappier when they are presented with a larger number of choices. The feelings of regret we experience (over the options we didn’t choose) can combine with underlying concerns about status (brought on by comparing ourselves to others), which furthers our desire to have the best of everything – to maximize.

Below is an exercise from the book that may help you further appreciate the costs associated with the decisions you make:

1. Think about some decisions that you’ve made recently, both big and small (a clothing purchase, a vacation destination, a relationship or job change).
2. Itemize the steps, time, research and anxiety that went into those decisions.
3. Remind yourself how it felt to do that work.
4. Ask yourself how much your final decision benefitted from that work.

Swartz writes, “Beware of choice overload: it can make you question the decisions you make before you even make them, it can set you up for unrealistically high expectations, and it can make you blame yourself for any and all failures.”

Constraint is Key: Choose When to Choose
To combat the problems associated with choice overload, Swartz urges his readers to “learn to love constraints.” By restricting our options (satisficing rather than maximizing), we will be able to choose less and feel better.

According to Swartz, learning to accept “good enough” will simplify your decision making and increase your satisfaction with those decisions (even when the “best” could be right around the corner). Consider adopting a “two options is my limit” rule. While restricting yourself this way may seem both difficult and arbitrary, it’s a good way to avoid the “hangover” associated with choice overload.

In a world full of choices, writes Swartz, “We get what we say we want, only to discover that what we want doesn’t satisfy us to the degree we expect. We are surrounded by modern time-saving devices, but we never seem to have enough time. We are free to be the authors of our own lives, but we don’t know exactly what kind of lives we want to write.”

As someone who has experienced a fair share of “writer’s block” over the years, after reading this book, I wondered if maybe it was the “endless possibilities” of the blank page that made it seem so intimidating to me. Indeed, it was often the “constraint” of an assignment (a specific topic, a limited word count) that allowed me to break the block and just start writing.

As a final thought, here is a quote from a Q&A session with Barry Swartz. Below the author describes his intention for writing The Paradox of Choice:

Key Takeaway
“If you limit the number of choices you make and the number of options you consider, you’re going to have more time available for what’s important than people who are plagued by one decision after another, always in search of the best. You could use that time wisely by getting to know more deeply your lovers, your children, your parents, your friends, your clients, your students… You may not always be conscious of this, but your effort to get the best car will interfere with your desire to be a good friend. Your effort to get the best job will intrude on your duty to be the best parent. And so, if the time you save by following some of my suggestions is redirected to the improvement of your relationships with other people in your life, you will not only make your life happier, you will improve theirs. It’s what economists call ‘Pareto efficient,’ a change that benefits everybody.”

Let me know if you agree or disagree with the author’s conclusions. In the meantime, happy choosing!

Comments? Questions? Need help? Contact me at mailto:atcoachlisa.bosley@gmail.com.

In the event that you know someone who would benefit from this information, please pass this along, and ask them to consider subscribing to The Coaching Chronicles by sending me an email.